“This is the first entry in the Flashback series. In this series I’m going to post, more or less untouched (translation skills apart), the more interesting bits of a diary I started sometime ago to track my mood changes. “
Morning’s been hard, as has always been in the past few days but, luckily, the laboratory lesson helped in keeping me distracted.
The thoughts were the same I have when I’m depressed, but lately I think a lot about Lucy (especially after I’ve been reading our old chats). Honestly, I don’t know what my brain is thinking of, but I don’t think it’s love, because love should brings happiness and joy, not depression.
However, I can’t exclude I’m feeling depressed because she have a boyfriend.
In the afternoon I went fishing by cycling, while listening to some crappy, but relaxing, country music, trying to reproduce the feelings of “well being” I felt yesterday while walking the dog whilst listening and singing to Elio e le Storie Tese. It worked. As a bonus, I’ve realized how my depression might be a consequence of the (forced) withdrawal from World of Warcraft, by which I was, and I’m still, obsessed. Then I decided to start this diary for better analyzing my changes in mood over time.
The thoughts about the obsession are mostly hypothesis, but having noticed how other video games are of little help in drowning out the depression, it’s not a completely made up one.
So I think it’ll be worthwhile to look for alternatives to this shitty dial-up connection, like UMTS or HSDPA, even if they’re not that promising, and in the meantime I’ll resume playing WoW in private servers.
“So that’s basically how I feel when I’m departed from my obsessions. Lucy was an obsession too, that fortunately didn’t last for long. As a side note, I originally used the term “mania” to refer to my obsessions… apparently I wasn’t that much informed about Bipolar Disorder at the time.”
